The Second Book Syndrome
Written on a plane, in the middle of the sky...
There is such a thing as ‘The Second Book Syndrome’. Or if you ask a musical artist, “That Dreaded Second Album’.
Usually after the publication of the first book, authors, for a myriad of reasons, tend to struggle so much more with writing their second. Unfortunately, I am one of these authors.
As is most common in the UK publishing industry, I am on a two book contract. The premise of the second book was in my mind ever since I began finishing the writing of my debut novel, The Moon Represents My Heart. It was towards the end of 2020, still during the height of the pandemic. I was living in Edinburgh, Scotland, finishing up my Creative Writing Masters, living in a dream flat with two of my best friends. Every day, I would walk for 1-2 hours along the Water of Leith, come home, and write for as long as I could until MOON was finished.
It was during this time I decided, that after writing so much about grief and loss in my first novel, my second would be sweet and joyful. This time, it will be about Thai people, falling in love amongst the beauties of Edinburgh, as the seasons change from winter, to spring, to the brightness of summer. A love story. Something hopeful and full of escapism. That was my original intention.
But then life happened. And what I have now is a draft that has — as I so often tell people — a great premise and ideas, yet lacking in execution.
The original version of the book was written in 2022, while I was spending time in hospital while a family member was recovering from a traumatic accident. My agent read that unfinished version and questioned whether it was too dark. The second version proved lighter, but still muddled and clunky. The third version, which I’d just submitted to my editor, was fully completed, but came back with the feedback that I was already expecting: the book needs a lot of work.
I don’t know if I’ve found it difficult to ‘unlock’ the second book because this novel is far more personal than my first. Every so often, my own experiences have found ways to bleed into the text — the book changing and shifting as life keeps happening to me.
I don’t know if there’s a pressure that had been absent during the writing of the first book. With MOON, I had no other expectations placed on it but my own; my goal was simply to do my best to get the novel published. I was fortunate enough that it was, and that it had garnered a readership, sold translation deals and (in a turn of events that I still find surreal to this day) been optioned by Netflix.
People I’ve admired in both the publishing and film industries — people I’d never once thought I’d have the chance to talk to, let alone meet — have picked up the book and read it. I’m one of the few Thai authors who’ve gotten a publishing deal abroad. While I am still nowhere near where I want to be as an author, I have made great strides in just one year. Going forward, I do not want to let anyone down. Particularly those in Thailand who’ve supported me and championed MOON so wholeheartedly.
Imposter syndrome has also returned in full force. Perhaps I am not good enough as a writer to execute what I’m trying to do with this second book? Am I just a one-trick pony? Are my achievements so far just a fluke?
Or have I found writing the second book difficult simply because in my own life, I haven’t yet found what it is that would give the book the light I want it to have?
Until then, I’m taking long walks and long drives. Recording voice notes to myself like a crazy person. I’m reading, scribbling, painting, talking. I’m consuming TV shows, films, even music. Thinking, even more so than writing.
Eventually, the breakthrough has to come.